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Top Tips To Make Him Fall In Love With You

What Men Want – 11 Tips On How To Be Irresistible To Men

If you want to learn how to be irresistible to men, then it starts with understanding exactly what men want in a woman and how men think.

What attracts men to a relationship and what keeps them there may be two entirely different, but equally as important things.

Think about something for a minute…

What if you knew and possessed all the traits that make women irresistible to men?

  • Would you use this knowledge to become a total flirt or tease and have guys falling all over themselves every time they’re around you?
  • Would you go after that one special guy you’ve had your eye on for a long time, but never had the courage to talk to?
  • Would you go after guys who are considered to be “out of your league” just to prove to your friends that amazing dating opportunities open up when you understand what men really want?

a confident girl When you understand men, you can learn how to stand out from the crowd, captivate his heart, and ultimately make him fall in love with you.

You already have what it takes to attract men. You don’t need to be anyone but yourself.

But many women have a difficult time harnessing the power of what relationship expert, Kara Oh, refers to in her highly recommended guide, Men Made Easy, as feminine grace. And even if you do realize how to use your own femininity to attract men, not understanding what men want and how they think will leave you utterly confused and feeling hopeless that you’ll never find “the one”.

One single blog post can’t give you all the answers, but read to the end and you’ll be well on your way to knowing how to make a guy want you and how to get him to fall in love with you so he never wants to leave. By the end, you’ll have a better appreciation for and understanding of why a man does what he does and how you can use this knowledge to influence him to your advantage.

What Men Want In A Relationship – Understanding Men And Their Differences

Relationship doctor, Bob Grant, makes a powerful statement in the opening of his book, What’s He Really Thinking, when he states, “When you appreciate men for their differences, it makes men more willing to allow you to influence them.”

There’s little doubt that men and women think differently and see the world from two entirely different perspectives. Men expect to be influenced by women when they are in a relationship and they even WANT to be influenced by you, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about trying to influence a man if you want to become irresistible to him.

To start, you must rid your mind of (or at least become aware of) the perception biases you currently have about men. According to Bob Grant, “A perception bias is where you see something based on your own way of thinking, and you then impose that belief onto other people or situations.” Common perception biases many women have about men are:

  • All men are stubborn and only care about themselves
  • Men only care about sex
  • Men don’t want to commit or get married
  • Men will cheat if they get the chance
  • Men are mean and aren’t empathetic or sincere

Let’s face it. There ARE men who are stubborn. There ARE men who focus solely on the sexual aspect of relationships. There ARE men who never plan to get married, who cheat, and who are narcissistic, but if you hold onto these biases that may have developed from your past relationships, then it will make it extremely hard to open your mind to finding a man who will open his heart and give you the world.

Chances are, your past experiences are NOT the norm.

11 Things Men Want In A Woman That Can Make You Utterly Irresistible To Him

Below you’ll find 11 traits you should work on developing if you want to get a guy to notice you and keep him interested for the long haul.

1.) Be Vulnerable At The Risk Of Getting Hurt

Men love a woman who is vulnerable and open to love. Remember what we said earlier about holding on to perception biases?

If your past relationships have caused you to hold back or put up a wall, then it’s going to be extremely difficult to become an irresistible woman. You’re already at a disadvantage because you’re putting off a vibe that tells men, “I’ll only let you get so close.”

Bob Grant says it best when he states in The Woman Men Adore And Never Want To Leave

“Most people are terrified of getting hurt. They have elaborate ways of protecting themselves – ways that keep them safe, but unsatisfied. It’s not that they want to be alone; they just don’t know how to be vulnerable and safe at the same time. In an effort to protect their heart, they inadvertently doom themselves to loneliness.”

A man wants a woman who is vulnerable, yet strong: a woman who trusts herself, believes in herself, and knows she is worthy of and open to love.

2.) Make Him Feel Good

man and woman face to face What makes a man select one woman over another often boils down to how she makes him feel. It’s not how beautiful she is. It’s not how smart she is or how rich her parents are. At the end of the day, the most irresistible woman is the one who makes a man feel good.

Men have an extremely difficult time dealing with their own feelings so when you make a man feel good, you allow him to access feelings he’s rarely able to express. It forces him to want to spend time with you on a deep level he’s rarely even consciously aware of.

Your smile, softness, femininity, and nurturing instincts can be extremely powerful when you want to attract a guy and are all weapons you can use to please a man and make him feel good.

3.) Be His Complement, Not His Equal

What men want in a woman is someone who is their complement, not their “equal”. Trying to be a man’s equal creates competition and resentment in a relationship. The same is true if a man tries to be a woman’s equal. This may not make sense at first glance, so let’s look at some examples to help clarify the point.

Men and women are designed to be complements, not “equals”. In other words, men are designed to excel in certain areas of a relationship (administration, logical thinking, etc.), and women are also designed to excel in different areas of a relationship (nurturing, emotions, etc.). The abilities are equal, but they are DIFFERENT AND COMPLEMENTARY abilities.

If a man views you as equal (e.g. being the same as him), then he will treat you like a man and you’ll probably get respect, but you probably won’t get much affection physically or emotionally. You must trust him enough to give up some of your power in the relationship where he is designed to excel. In return, you’ll get a man who will give up some of his own power and allow you to influence him in ways that will establish greater intimacy and closeness over time.

4.) You Don’t Need Him, But Don’t Let Him Know That

The truth is, you DON’T need a man in your life to be happy. As a strong, independent, confident woman you can stand on your own two feet and get through life just fine. But you shouldn’t let a man know that if you want to keep a guy interested.

Men want to be with a woman who needs them on more than just a superficial level. A man wants to feel like he’s your hero and your protector. If he feels he offers nothing to the relationship that you couldn’t have on your own, then he will leave.

Click here to watch a quick video on how you can use simple text messages to make a man feel needed and ultimately influence him to fall in love with you.

5.) Be Beautiful Inside And Out

Make an effort to be beautiful inside and out. Men are genetically wired to be attracted to you physically. Don’t let this opportunity to attract a man go to waste.

If you take a look around, you’ll often discover men don’t marry “perfect” women. That’s because looks alone aren’t enough to make a guy fall in love with you. However, they can be important because your physical appearance is the first thing a guy will notice about you.

Emphasize your beautiful qualities. Even if you’re overweight or think you’re unattractive for one reason or another, you have beautiful qualities.

It could be your curves. It could be your eyes, your lips, your legs, or any other physical feature. The point is you’re beautiful just the way you are and being comfortable in your own skin and making a man feel at ease when he’s around you because you’re at ease with yourself is what really matters.

6.) A Smile Can Melt A Man’s Heart

Studies repeatedly show that a woman who smiles is infinitely more attractive to men than one who doesn’t.

A smile puts a man at ease. It tells a man you’re approachable. It tells a man you’re confident and happy: the exact type of woman a man wants. It strokes a man’s ego and makes him feel like you are pleased with him. It makes him feel more like a man.

And, remember, how you make a guy feel is the most important factor in getting a guy to like you and ultimately fall for you.

When you smile, don’t hold back. Act as though you’re super excited to see him. After all, you are, aren’t you?

7.) Confidence Is Sexy

We’ve already touched on confidence a little bit, but it’s importance can’t be overstated.

Always be yourself. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect any man to love you?

Guys LOVE confident, independent women. Just remember not to be OVERLY independent or you’ll make him feel like he’s not needed. The trick is to find a balance between making your man feel needed without making him feel like you’re clinging to him.

Remember, an average looking, confident woman will always be more irresistible to men than an insecure, needy “10”.

Click here to learn how to make a guy want you by exuding confidence each and every time you call, text, or email him.

8.) Men Want A Woman Who Makes Them Feel Successful

Men crave success. It’s at the core of their being. Long ago, it was the successful hunter who survived. Today’s man is no different.

Men are judged by how successful they are just like women are often judged by how beautiful they are. Is it fair? Of course not, but that doesn’t make it any less real.

Therefore, men want to be successful in everything they do. It’s the reason they’re competitive at sports. It’s the reason they work long hours, sometimes at the expense of time with the family. It’s the reason they want to be your protector, provider, and the best lover you’ve ever had.

Understanding men and their need to be successful is key to keeping a man around. Compliment him and find ways to make him feel successful in everything he does, and he’ll reward you through loyalty, love, passion, and romance.

9.) Be A Flirt

Irresistible women know how to flirt. They know how to use words and body language to attract a man and turn a guy on.

Flirting is much like a smile. It lets a man know you’re interested. It tells a man you accept him and are pleased with him. It makes a man feel at ease around you, thereby making you more approachable and increasing the chance a guy will ask you out.

If you’re shy, or if flirting just doesn’t come naturally to you, this flirting guide can be a big help.

10.) Loyalty, Support, And Understanding

Keep in mind that loyalty, support, and understanding are all key to winning a man’s heart. A man wants a woman who is faithful and who will be there to support him throughout the relationship.

A man also wants a woman who understands him. He wants a woman who knows why he thinks the way he thinks and does the things he does. She doesn’t always have to agree with him, but she at least needs to understand him and support the “little missions” he has in life.

11.) Good Girl vs. Bad Girl

whisper in ear For many men, the interplay of good girl versus bad girl is extremely attractive. It boils down to this: a guy wants a girl who wants him.

Men love a woman who is a good girl when she’s around other people, but who has a bit of a naughty, bad girl side when she’s alone with him. This might include talking dirty through text messages or learning how to please your man in a way no woman ever has.

Men are simply drawn to the smart, loyal, kind, nurturing girl with the secret, raging horny side that only he gets to see behind closed doors.

Derek Maak has been writing about relationships for as long as he can remember. He hopes to bring more passion, romance, intimacy, desire, and FUN to every interaction with your loved one. Connect with Derek on Twitter, Facebook, and .

13 Comments

  1. What can I do if I can’t trust my bf anymore as he cheated on me?
    I love him and can’t let him go but I find it difficult to talk freely and openly to him like before specially after that cheating thing. I do every single tip of the above to keep our relationship and he is complaining that I’ve changed!

    • Hi Alaa,

      I’m sorry to hear your boyfriend cheated on you. I hope it’s a one time thing, that he’s truly sorry, and it never happens again. Unfortunately, people who cheat often cheat again. Of course there are plenty of exceptions to that rule and I hope your boyfriend is one of them.

      You ask, “What can I do if I can’t trust my bf anymore as he cheated on me?”

      I think you may be asking the wrong question. Instead, I think you should be asking, “What does my bf need to do if he wants to keep me after cheating on me?”

      The way you ask the first question, it sounds like you are the one putting forth all the effort to make the relationship work. But cheating is ALWAYS the cheaters fault. A person CHOOSES to cheat. You can’t MAKE them cheat so no matter how bad the relationship was before, no matter how many arguments you may have gotten into, no matter whether he was drunk or not, HE still CHOSE to cheat.

      He’s the one that needs to understand how he made you feel by cheating on you and if he wants to keep you, then he needs to understand it will take time before you trust him again and he should do everything he can to put your mind at ease and show you through his actions that it won’t happen again.

      Trust builds slowly over time. Once that trust is broken (especially when you get cheated on) it takes even longer to rebuild. Nothing will solve the situation short term. It’s going to take time for you to trust again.

      One thing that will help is this…

      If you decide you still want to be with him even though he cheated, then you truly need to forgive and then be open to moving forward. That means accepting what happened, getting any answers you need from him to set your heart and mind at ease so you can move forward, and then being able to forgive.

      Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, nor does it mean that he doesn’t need to be held accountable for what he’s done. However, if you want things to work in the future, you have to truly open your heart to rebuilding the relationship. If you bring it up every time you have an argument or every time he looks at or talks to another girl then it will never work.

      He also needs to be accountable for what he’s done and understand it’s not going to be easy to trust him for a while…maybe a long while. If he truly loves you and is truly sorry for what he’s done, he will understand that and will do what he can to help make the situation better.

      When I hear you saying that he complains you have changed, it makes me feel like he’s not truly sorry and that he just wants you to “get over it” overnight and be like you were before. And he doesn’t want to be held accountable for what he’s done.

      It makes me feel like he’s looking for a way out. I could be wrong (and I hope I am), but it doesn’t sound like he’s making much effort to help you feel better.

      And it feels like you’re trying to do everything you can to hold onto the relationship even though you’re not the one who cheated.

      Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t deserve you. I understand you love him and I have no doubt that you do. But you have to ask yourself, “Does he love me?”

      I hope that he does. I hope it was a big mistake that he regrets and that he understands your hurt and is willing to do what it takes to make you feel better and to keep it from happening again.

      If he doesn’t, then life is too short to be unhappy. You shouldn’t have to spend every day wondering if tomorrow will be the day he cheats again. And you most definitely shouldn’t feel like you have to do more in the relationship to keep him around. Don’t let him “have his cake and eat it too” as the old saying goes.

      He’s the one that cheated. He should be doing everything he can to keep you, not the other way around. Empower yourself to stand tall with or without a man in your life. You WANT a man. You don’t NEED a man.

  2. I divorced my husband boz he hit me almost 5 times in 2 and half years of our marriage. he apologised and promised to never do it again.but he keep saying that you also made mistakes in this period.I love him but cant trust him. what should I do

  3. How can I get my boyfriend to stop treating his daughter (from a previous marriage) better than me? I get a lot of grief for this question and cannot seem to get an answer. My boyfriend treats his daughter like a surrogate spouse when she is here….she gets her way with EVERYTHING, no exaggeration. She also gets AWAY with everything while he expects obedience from my son. He gets very defensive of his daughter if I try to explain this to him….which makes things worse because then I feel like…why won’t he defend ME?! I love this guy and want to marry him….he feels the same….we just have that one problem I feel will get worse with time unless I find a miraculous way to change it. How do I get him to see this and change…. without causing an argument or further damage?

  4. so i left my last bf for the one i have now. i feel that he is floating off. he lies about where he is. like when he was tagged in a pic on facebook. i want him to want to come over alot

    • Hi huntermay,

      All men lie. And all women lie too.

      Many times it’s small stuff and things that are fairly insignificant such as telling someone you’re fine when you’re really not, but technically these are “lies” nonetheless.

      Sometimes men lie to women because they feel telling the truth will cause you to freak out and go into emotional overload which men aren’t equipped to handle. For example, if you constantly question where he’s at or who he is with, then he will tend to lie because it’s easier (and less scary) than having you potentially get upset or unload on him over nothing.

      Learn to give your man space and learn to trust him until he gives you reason not to trust him. And if it turns out he continually lies to you because he’s just a douchebag, then dump him.

  5. Im a successful middle age womean. Six years ago my husband cheated on me. It was devastating. After realizing I no longer loved him, I left the marriage. Now Im interested in dating. But its been a while since Ive dated (18 yrs). I just don’t know how to get the process started. Ive met a few men who seem interested then all of a sudden things go cold. I dont know what Im doing wrong. Do you have any suggestions for me?

  6. Been married over 9 yrs, noticed changes in spouses behavior and work routine. He now commutes 45 min to another work location 2 days/week, work later, and communicates less with me while at work, ie 1 call/ a day after 2:00pm. Noticed in 1 month several withdrawal of ATMs back to back, $600, $400, $200 on days commuting, as well as, excessive spending on the same day of withdrawals.

    Then there was a lie about where he was during working hours. Now he tells he should be able to go where anywhere he want to go with tell me where he’s going when it’s for an occasion ie, to by a birthday gift or surprises. This makes no sense to me since it’s not the location of the gift that matters or that would let me know what he is going to purchase. I asked him after all these years we’ve always done things. I remember when you never wanted to go or try new things without me. We were best friends. This relationship was established and now the rules are changing according to him. I asked him is he cheating. Of course I knew he would say no. Why would he admit that? He said he is stress from work, which I could believe. I know the environment. But he is bad with time management and he knows it. He saids he needs time to heal. I ask from what? But he just can’t give me a complete answer. He won’t communicate for me to help him. He claims he’s a self healer, but stays late at work till 9:30-10p. When we talk it ends up into a messy conversation. He feels I want to know everything and won’t let it go. I feel he’s too secretive, can’t justify the spending and the need to go somewhere without letting your wife. He’s said he would not abuse that and I should trust him. I said it all about respect.

  7. I think I may just be a little clingy to my boyfriend lately. My bf and I have bn together for 2years now. Being in a long-distance relationship we have naturally always wanted 2 feel like we are together all the time, we spend most, if not all, of our free time chatting online or watchng same movies at the same time etc.
    I have recently moved closer to him so we can see each other more often (which is about once every 2-3 weeks). Starting out in a new city, without friends, and spending most evenings at home, i have noticed that i have become very clingy to my boyfriend. I call him up at dawn so he can wake up and go online. I have been nagging more and just really made him my everything! I hate this because it gets me paranoid, and i always get upset if he not available to chat. I know this is not good for any of us but i just cant stop.
    I know that the simple answer to my situation would be to just ‘get a life’ bt even that does not stopped me from obssessing about my boyfriend, i would be out having fun but the minute i walk into my door i call him up, its pathetic.
    My boyfriend also used to obssess over me a lot but that has changed, he seems to have gotten himself a life and goes out more often. I feel like I’m the clingy gf left behind. How do I stop this before I drive my bf away?

  8. My children’s father and myself broke up 8 years ago and we have recently rekindled our love, however I am also dealing with the fact that he has another child which is pretty much why we broke up in the first place, I will admit him and I were 20 when we met and we hadn’t yet grown up I’ve learned alot through the years him and I were apart, I never thought we would ever feel anything for one another again, but we do…. I love that man so much but it’s very difficult for me to see him dealing with his other child’s mothe, I feel as though he’s hiding me from her because she doesn’t know about us, I want this man to be my husband when the time is right, sometimes I get confused and I wonder if he loves me the same, I know he does but I wonder how much! I’m trying to get the ring, I’ve been dealing with him for 10 years and I want him to pop the question! ??????? I don’t want to waste my time, what do u suggest??? My mind is beginning to wonder and I’m sensing myself going into survival mode, I don’t want to be that way even though he hurt me years ago, I want to keep the past behind and focus on getting my ring and the future, hopefully he is included in what I’ve always wanted!

  9. Hey Derek,
    my relationship is ended near 5 months ago, and I am madly in love with my ex, we had so much good time together which made him so special to me..same sense of humor and every new things we had experiencing when we were together…he dumped me for stupid reasons like we need to focus on studying (we are both in collage), we need to forget everything, he was saying that we were just friends and nothing happened between us (he asked me to kiss him on 1st date, which it was too early for me to do so, so he kinda got upset at that), any ways, I really miss him not because he is ignoring me or so, I just want him back, I tired to msg him but it was just back fire,he just ignores and when he replies back its just harsh msg that he is so busy and so on…being honest with you I am kind girl.. never tired to break his heart or anything like that..I don’t know if he really misses me or wants me or he is just playing games on me…its so confusing and not right, people tell me he wasn’t nice guy, he was trash and so on, but still inside me I feel they are all wrong and he wasn’t that bad…I miss him so much, its just kinda of feels so bad when I think he doesn’t think about me even a bit and ignores me so much for no reason…hurts more than can be describe…

  10. I have been crazy about this older guy that I work with for years.First as a subordinate, now as a colleague. We have finally had an intimate moment that he called “something significant” however, we have not had sex. Problem is, I’ve been flirting, listening and being supportive as a friend but inside I’m going crazy with wanting him. He has recently broken up with a girlfriend and I know he is not ready for another relationship…last thing I want is to be the rebound girl. He has admitted that he is physically attracted to me and we have spoken about being lovers…only problem is, I don’t just want him in my bed, I want to be in his heart as well. I feel like I’m deceiving him because I told him I’m okay with just being lovers and that I will not expect any more than that. But he holds my heart already and I am dying not being able to show him how I really feel about him. As much as I want him physically, I want him to love me back as much as I love him. This is such a mess because I know that if I was to say no to being intimate with him now, I am making a liar of myself. Any advise?

  11. ..what should i do now,.I have two boyfriends,but I didnt see the one because he was at other contry.For a long time,no conversations for 5 years I have found my second bf.what should I do?what if he would come back and we will see each other?