For many women this is an all too common scenario:
You’re absolutely head over heels crazy in love with your boyfriend, but you don’t know how to get him to propose. You love him to death and know he’s the one, but he just doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to drop to one knee and ask you to marry him. Even after years of dating, he still hasn’t completely committed to you nor given you a ring to symbolize you will always be his one and only.
Although this can seem like a heartbreaking and very frustrating situation to find yourself in, don’t get too discouraged. You’re definitely not alone as thousands of women face this same scenario every single day.
“When I conduct seminars, I ask women how many of them tricked their husbands or slipped a drug into their drinks to get them to propose marriage. No one raises their hand. Nearly every man I have ever talked with deeply wants to get married.”
It’s not that your man doesn’t WANT to marry you, but learning how to get him to propose will require accepting that men and women approach the topic of marriage very differently. Women are emotional by nature. Men are rational by nature. Or as Dr. Grant explains it women are the heart and men are the head.
You always hear what men really crave is sex, but even talking dirty to a guy and incredibly great sex isn’t going to get your boyfriend to propose to you. Sure, it’s always great if you have strong sexual chemistry with your man and know how to blow his mind in the bedroom, but sex isn’t what makes a man see you as marriage material. It’s actually much simpler than that. The woman a man decides to marry is most often the women who makes him feel good.
You may feel the need to express your disappointment to your man, and interrogate him about why he hasn’t asked you to marry him yet. Expressing your feelings is thinking like a woman and can be counter productive in several ways. This doesn’t make a man feel good and instead makes him feel pressured as though he’s getting blindsided by pent up resentment.
More often then not, discussing a proposal and wedding all the time will make your man pull away. It causes stress and the added pressure will cause him to immediately close his mind off to the idea. Then, when you express your frustration and disappointment, he will feel like he’s not good enough and that you don’t admire him and love him just the way he is. He needs to feel good about the situation and not like he’s drowning in a sea of your resentment.
Understanding how to get a guy to propose to you will also depend upon your ability to get him to step out of his comfort zone without giving him an ultimatum. No one likes an ultimatum, and no one likes to feel like they are being forced into doing something.
Sometimes men don’t propose because over time they get comfortable in their relationship. Men simply aren’t in tune with “relationship development” the way women are. Women constantly strive to improve relationships and want to constantly grow closer to their man (even after marriage), but men often view relationships as, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Your man knows he loves you. He knows you love him. He feels the relationship is good and that you’re not going anywhere. Feeling this way makes him feel comfortable. In his mind, if everything is good and you both love each other, then why put time and money into a wedding and marriage when there are other things to worry about at the moment (job, finances, etc.)?
Remember, men are the head of the relationship. They take a very rational approach to the idea of a wedding and proposing to you. Knowing how to get him to propose will mean understanding that success is important to all men. It’s at the core of every man’s being.
If he’s stressed about his financial situation or is chasing the career he’s always wanted, then he may not feel it’s the right time for a proposal. If he feels he has already won your heart, then he won’t feel the need to work as hard to keep it. It’s basic human nature that dictates people want what they don’t have.
Neither partner in any relationship should ever feel so comfortable that they don’t have to put an effort into improving and moving a relationship forward. But also keep in mind that making him feel good is the key to getting him to see you as his future wife. He wants to feel respected and must have your admiration to move things forward.
The good news is technology has made it easier than ever to remind your man how much you admire and respect him in your life. It’s more powerful than you might think.
Derek Maak has been writing about relationships for as long as he can remember. He hopes to bring more passion, romance, intimacy, desire, and FUN to every interaction with your loved one. Connect with Derek on Twitter, Facebook, and Google +.